(Un-)Explanation

(Part One)
I really didn't mean to. I didn't plan for this. .

For any of this.

It's only been a week. Who knew I'd miss it so much? Did you? Did anyone?

Of course they didn't. No one could.


You were out on your own. Why were you out on your own? Why wasn't someone there, and, more importantly, why wasn't I there?
I wish I could have saved you. You must have been listening to music. Singing to yourself. Not paying attention. I can't believe. .

Of all things, it had to be a little car. Why so small? Is this irony? Some cruel humor brought by the omni-prescient God? It better not be.
I saw. Your little body. Your hair. The blood. Draining into the gutter. I cried. I'm not afraid to admit it anymore.


I'm so sorry I ignored you. There were so many reasons I did, but they're so insignificant. Unimportant.

I said I'd never be sorry for anything I've done.


I was wrong.


(Part Two)

You're dead and gone. I'll have to remember you, won't I? remember my first mistakes?

Everyone thinks I'm insane. They think there's no point.
"Writing letters to the dead? What the f**k is wrong with you?"
"You're insane. It's not like she'll read them."

The truth is, I don't care if you read it. Well, that's not true. I'd prefer if you read them. I really do. But that's not likely. Really, all this is is a way to get my thoughts out.

Otherwise, they might kill me.

So I'm mentally replaying that day. the week before. things I should have done; should have said.

I never told you that I liked you. Had an insane crush on you. My only confidant was my cat. And if Whisky could talk, she would probably have told me to tell you before it was too late. Of course, most people would take that as "Before your crush goes out with someone else." I now have to look back and take it as "Before your crush is hit by a cherry red, convertible, Volkswagen Beetle.

If I had told you, walked home with you, would you be dead? Or would we both? Could I have been the one to save you?

If I could go back, I would die for you.



So, I'll post more once I write it. Or you can just watch my Quizilla; http://quizilla.teennick.com/user/ThePotatoPartyPosion/profile/

Sorry. That's kinda the point, though. And it's not even over yet! You don't have to keep reading if it's too sad for you (:

yeah this is good and depressing

AAAAAAAH I LURVE IT IT'S SO ROMANTIC AND BEAUTIFUL AND DEPRESSING!!!!!!!!

<3