Two totally inconspicuous kids who are so not causing trouble { { C L O S E D } }

The words echo through my ears. Affirming all my fear and doubt, I'm lost without you here. Is this life I live a lie? When I leave will I be alive for the first time? You've infected my mind. You keep telling me what you know. But, baby, what do you believe? If I'm dreaming will you be there to wake me up? I am your reality, the only thing that you believe in. Make up your mind. I'll be waiting when you come back to me. We can still be together, In this world we built, forever; but you never take the chance. It's now or never. You keep telling me what you know. But, baby, what do you believe?

all of a sudden, taleis gets this strange, inexplicable urge to just tell aidan everything, to tell him how he started to rely on him after kassidy and then he fell in love with him and he felt so hopeless because he thought aidan would never love him back, ever, and he thought that he'd always be alone because he was so screwed up but then aidan did love him and wasn't that so amazing, that the boy of him dreams loved him too? and like, taleis was so certain that he was unlovable, that he'd never be able to get away from his bad habits but aidan makes him want to, gods, he makes taleis want to become an entirely new person and it's just so, so overwhelmingly wonderful.

but taleis can't tell him that, partly because he'd start babbling and possibly crying, and partly because he didn't want to scare aidan off. at least, not yet. taleis wants to let himself just bask in the feeling of actually being loved by someone, of feeling wanted because sure, he could have a different girl for every night and he could have a different friend for every day but he's never felt like they truly wanted him, just wanted what he represented. but this is different, because aidan loves him and aidan wants taleis even though he knows how messed up he is, and taleis isn't sure whether or not that makes him want to laugh or cry.

so instead he settles for pressing a soft kiss on the top of his head a whispers, "i really do love you, you know?" it's the only way he can think to explain to aidan at this moment, the only way he can tell him what he wants to tell him, what he needs to tell him. and he hopes aidan understands, but taleis is sure he will because aidan's just good at that sort of stuff. he's just good at taleis, really.

taleis feels like he could spend an eternity like this, just laying in bed with aidan in his arms. and he wants to, gods, he really wants to. he wants to ignore everything else that has to be done because none of it matters anymore, not really. taleis isn't even positive life will go back to normal again, feels like he'll be transported back in time back to when everyone listened to elvis presley and the beatles and there were jukeboxes and those cutesy diners, and people would be singing and breaking out into dances on the streets or whatever.

but then there's this vicious little voice in the back of his head, whispering, 'oh, come on. just because you're dating aidan doesn't mean things will suddenly be perfect. your dad will still be in jail and you'll still be that shy, awkward kid who's hidden behind a fake smile. and aidan's going to realize how weird you are and he'll leave you, and you'll be alone.' and he struggles to tell the voice that no, that's not how it's going to happen because he loves aidan and aidan loves him but the voice just laughs and asks him if he really, truly believes that someone as wonderful as aidan could love someone like taleis, who is so terrified of just existing while aidan is so real, so alive. and taleis thinks that no, of course aidan wouldn't, because why would he need someone as dark as taleis when he could shine like the sun?

taleis feels like he's going to start crying, or like he might throw up because it's so obvious to him now, it's so obvious that aidan just didn't want to hurt his feelings and he doesn't love taleis and he doesn't even want him, not remotely, because why would he? why would anyone?

but taleis is good at pretending, so he pretends that he's fine and that he still believes that aidan loves him because he doesn't want aidan to feel sad that his plan to make taleis feel happy didn't work. he pretends like he's fine and his heart hasn't been shattered into a million pieces and he pretends that he feels like his life will turn into some cheesy musical.

tagged: M79, taleis | word count: 708 | notes: well this is long

The words echo through my ears. Affirming all my fear and doubt, I'm lost without you here. Is this life I live a lie? When I leave will I be alive for the first time? You've infected my mind. You keep telling me what you know. But, baby, what do you believe? If I'm dreaming will you be there to wake me up? I am your reality, the only thing that you believe in. Make up your mind. I'll be waiting when you come back to me. We can still be together, In this world we built, forever; but you never take the chance. It's now or never. You keep telling me what you know. But, baby, what do you believe?

taleis feels his heart stutter when aidan speaks and just like that, he knows aidan wasn't lying. taleis knows how aidan sounds when he lies, and he doesn't sound like that, doesn't just cuddle up into taleis after. because aidan knows how much taleis hates it when he lies to him and he gets guilty about it and there's no way aidan could be lying to him.

taleis' heart is light again, and there's this laughter that could bubble out of his mouth at any time but won't, because taleis likes keeping it there. he likes keeping the warm, light weight there because it's been so long, dammit, and it's not like he hasn't been happy the past few years. of course he's been happy. he just hasn't been, like, this happy, not really, and it just feels so amazing and gods, he can't believe he went so long without feeling like this.

sure, taleis knows he's not all normal. there's still guilt from kassidy and he's still awkward and doesn't trust people and a liar, but he can work on that. taleis knows he can because wants to, dammit, and wow, isn't that new? like, of course he never wanted to be screwed up, who would, but now taeis feels like he can actually do something about it and that's kind of amazing, to feel like he's finally going to get out of this rut he's stuck himself in.

"hey, c'mere," taleis says, grabbing at aidan's shirt and tugging lightly, "i wanna kiss you, come here." there's a laugh in his voice as he says it and wow, doesn't that just feel amazing? because, like, taleis isn't even sure if this is real life, but he doesn't care either way just so long as he can keep this. keep this happiness and aidan and everything about it, really.

if this is the end result, taleis doesn't know why he didn't go for this sooner. because this is ten thousand times than what he thought was 'safe', when he didn't do anything because he didn't want to get rejected. and, alright, maybe it *wasn't* taleis who did something about it, but he has a boyfriend (he feels giddy just thinking about it, because boyfriend!!!!!) and he's happy and everything just feels perfect, really.

taleis notices a sliver of skin that's exposed where aidan's shirt has ridden up and it looks so soft and inviting, and he gets this flash of almost painful longing before he remembers that it's okay if he touches him there, that he can do this now and that's just. that's almost too much, but he's already moving his hand that isn't tangled in aidan's shirt so he can rub at the sliver of aidan's hip that's exposed and that's. sweet mother of jesus taleis likes this very, very much. he likes looking at aidan and touching aidan and kissing aidan and he likes loving aidan, and he feels like there are bubbles in his chest , or maybe a balloon. maybe is chest is a balloon and he'll start floating in a few seconds and gods, taleis dosn't think he's been this happy ever.

tagged: M79, taleis | word count: 527 | notes: happy taleis (◡‿◡✿)

The words echo through my ears. Affirming all my fear and doubt, I'm lost without you here. Is this life I live a lie? When I leave will I be alive for the first time? You've infected my mind. You keep telling me what you know. But, baby, what do you believe? If I'm dreaming will you be there to wake me up? I am your reality, the only thing that you believe in. Make up your mind. I'll be waiting when you come back to me. We can still be together, In this world we built, forever; but you never take the chance. It's now or never. You keep telling me what you know. But, baby, what do you believe?

the first thought to enter taleis' head is a slightly dull, 'oh,' but then it's just kind of like. wow, wow, okay. taleis was not expecting this. not that there's any problem, no, of course not, it's just - wow. wow.

taleis pulls his arm tight around aidan's waist, bringing him as close as possible. he moves his other hand to cup the back of aidan's head, right where it meets his neck and just - jesus h christ, taleis likes this. it's ten times better than any girl he's ever been with and maybe it's just because it's aidan but just jesus.

he sucks gently on aidan's lower lip before pulling away and glancing around, somewhat self-consciously. "hey, uh, do you wanna take this somewhere were there are less people?" taleis says because, like, there are people around and what if someone looks over and sees them and-

okay. deep breath, in, out. taleis can do this.

but then he looks at aidan's face and his lips, christ, they already look kiss-swollen and they weren't kissing for that long, were they? just. god, aidan's looks so beautiful like this, all open and inviting and taleis just wants to hold on and never let go because when will he get the chance to do this again?

'whenever you want,' he hears a voice in the back of his head say and isn't that just the most amazing thing in the world? he doesn't have to let go of this, this isn't just a one night thing. it's real, it's solid and that just kind of blows taleis' mind, but then he has to divert his thoughts because, well, the word blow and situations like this tend to have some very...interesting results, which could just possibly be embarrassing.

"i mean, it's not like i'd mind continuing here or anything," taleis says with a slight smirk, "but someone else might." and taleis swears up and down that he is not trying to make his voice sound like that but it's just what happens and he's definitely not scanning aidan's face for a reaction, no, definitely not. but like, if aidan likes it or something then it's totally worth it and taleis isn't even sure even what he's thinking anymore because his brain is just playing images of aidan looking just like this over and over.

tagged: taleis | word count: 393 | notes: happy taleis (◡‿◡✿)

The words echo through my ears. Affirming all my fear and doubt, I'm lost without you here. Is this life I live a lie? When I leave will I be alive for the first time? You've infected my mind. You keep telling me what you know. But, baby, what do you believe? If I'm dreaming will you be there to wake me up? I am your reality, the only thing that you believe in. Make up your mind. I'll be waiting when you come back to me. We can still be together, In this world we built, forever; but you never take the chance. It's now or never. You keep telling me what you know. But, baby, what do you believe?

taleis grins at aidan as he tangles his fingers with aidan's, swinging their arms between them as they walk. taleis doesn't know where aidan's leading him, but he doesn't particularly care, either, because it'll be fine as long as he's with aidan. taleis trusts aidan, knows he wouldn't do anything foolish.

taleis knows he's staring at aidan with stars in his eyes, knows he probably looks like a lovestruck fool, but he can't bring himself to stop. it's just. gods, aidan is so beautiful that it almost hurts and he's all his, just taleis' and the fact that aidan chose taleis even though he could have anyone in the world is kind of really amazing. and all taleis can think to do is give aidan all he has to offer because taleis doesn't really know why anyone would pick him. but aidan did, which is the best thing that's ever happened to taleis, probably.

it's become something of a struggle not to tell aidan that he loves him constantly. like, he's kept this bottled up for years and now he can say it but taleis is afraid that if he says it too much, then he'll stop feeling that thrill whenever he says it and taleis doesn't want that feeling to go away, not ever.

tagged: taleis | word count: im lazy go away | notes: r u frickin happy

every picture im gonna burn

every smile was a lesson learned

it's kind of obvious the dude taleis was making out with was aidan by now. which was kind of a shock, but, yeah, sid got that. dating taleis was kind of like dating aidan, too. you never got one without the other. which was fine because she thought she was so in looooooove. or something.

and sid never had anything against aidan, always thought he was nice or whatever, right? like, she hates taleis, but she's got nothing against aidan. but now, gods, does she want to punch him in the face.

"okay, first of all, it's sid now," she says, putting her hand on her hip and focusing on aidan with a steely gaze. "second of all, why the hell would i kill myself over him? and third, don't you dare try and make me out to be the bad guy because he's the one you were sucking face with a minute ago. i kind of got the whole 'he never loved me'" - she makes are quotations and uses a mocking voice - "thing when he told me that, what, three years ago?"

the thing is, taleis hasn't said a word this entire time. sid's seen him at his worst, seen the way he snaps at people and shouts and tears them to shreds - he did it to her once, she knows what he does. but now he seems to have this - this empty, vacant look in his eyes. and sid's almost afraid that he'll go into some kind of blackout rage, where he tries to physically tear her to pieces because dare she survive the first time.

"and what makes you think you're so different from me, huh?" she asks. "what makes you so special? how do you know he's not going to do the same to you, just up and leave you, completely break you apart?"

"leave him out of this," a small voice says, and it takes sid a moment to realize that, wait, that's taleis. which is just. wow, that's very confusing, because suddenly he just sounds so - so resigned, like he hasn't got any fight left in him. "you can attack me all you want, but just. leave aidan out of it. please." his eyes don't look as empty anymore, and by the time he's done speaking it sounds like taleis is begging, which is really messing with sid's vision of taleis being the big bad wolf, or whatever she saw him as.