Just Being in New York

Subject: Re: Just Being in New York 8/14/2012, 8:27 pm

I threw the popcorn away then looked at Krasi, really looked at him. I realized I didn't really know him. And I really wasn't in love with him. I was just "in love" with the lust. I kept looking at him. Then I spoke. "I think we should break up. I just realized that I'm not in love with you... I have very strong feelings for you, I think. I'm not sure. But. I think we should be done." I nodded and whispered, "Sorry.." Then I walked out of the theater. I caught a taxi and went back to Camp.

Subject: Re: Just Being in New York 8/15/2012, 2:46 pm

I thought about what Mandie had said for a while. It kind of made sense, and I had to recognize that. .but I didn't like it. Maybe she didn't know me, but I'd thought that I'd known her. Why couldn't we have stayed together and tried to figure something out? My life was nothing, right now. I just felt empty. I stood in one place in the theatre until the cleaning people came in and kicked me out. Then I stood in the same place in the hall until the theatre closed and kicked me out. I stood on the sidewalk for at least an hour before I finally made a bottle of wine for myself. I broke it to open it, and drank all of it. Then I picked a piece of the shattered glass and killed myself with it.

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